I have always struggled with control and pride. And if you think about it, these two seem to go hand-in-hand. I think that I am capable, so I control things. I know my gifts and talents, so I take charge in most situations. I am confident in my abilities, so I step in and get the job done. And most of the time, good things result.
Our journey in life is made up of many different twists and turns; times of pure joy and laughter, other times of sadness and unexpected loss. It is in these times that we truly get to see who we are becoming as an individual. Our experiences help shape us into who we are intended to be. You are a part of an amazing and beautiful mess of a story, one God wants to tell.
I sat there in my car, the skies were cloudy and gray, which seemed to match my mood. Finally, the day came to an end, but not without a battle.
Do you ever feel like you can’t control your thoughts? Do they ever race and race and it seems there’s nothing you can do to make them stop? You’re not alone; this has been my story for the past 10 years.
I’ve read this passage hundreds of times and I’ve heard it preached on about the same amount. Yet the other day as I was re-reading it, I started to view it from Joshua’s perspective. He had just been handed the reigns to a nation and the unknown was before them. Fear was probably running through him, "Can I do this? What will we face? Will I make the right choices? Am I good enough? Will the people even listen to me? Am I prepared?"
10 years ago, I began to question God. His existence; His love; His devotion to me. It took two agonizing years to lose my faith. I read books, listened to debates, spoke with pastors, emailed experts... It didn’t work.
I feel like my past few years have been marked by learning how to see God loving me through difficult situations.His love marked by the cross is something that I know well, but sometimes it is hard to recognize the daily love He brings to us.
Fear is not my friend.
It never has been.
It never will be.
In 2014, God asked me to take time being single, getting to know Him more and coming to accept who He says I am. During that time, I fell in love with the Lord and His character more than ever before and I was faced with the truth that above all else, I am loved and He calls me daughter.
Routine is an inherent part of life. We seek to find schedules and methods that benefit us, and we uphold them because we find ease in consistency and convenience.